College

I didn't plan any of this to happen. Everything just happened so fast.

A year ago, I wasn't even keen on going to college. The idea of getting a tertiary education was so vague.
A month ago, I did think of my future but chose to delay studies and enjoy 3 months of self-employment.
Three weeks ago, I succumbed to traditional do's and don'ts by enrolling myself into a college.

Currently, I've studied A-Levels for 3 days and AUSMAT for 9 days. I take English as Language or Dialect, Maths 3a/3b, Economics, Accounting and Finance, and Career and Enterprise.

COLLEGE changed who I am.

Internally, I am no longer as optimistic as I used to be. Recent events have tremendously changed my mindset and perceptions of world, of life itself. I've lost a big part of myself, my positivity. Day by day, I'm becoming more realistic, weighing pros and cons and having little hope for the future whenever I'm faced with options. Truth be told, I'm scared of making decisions. For those of you who know what had happened to me, of how my past caught up with my present, good for you. For those who don't, ask me, I'd be glad to tell you my horrifying experience. I guess maturing is part of life.

College has really broadened my horizons. Coming from a protected environment throughout my entire schooling life, I have never seen such a wide variety of people in my life. The people whom I thought was weird back then, they're not that weird after all. Getting exposed to such diverse group of people is education itself. Ex: I partnered a guy from Iraq for my presentation, super eye opening. Apart from people and culture, the little things at college excite me. The 2 floored library is HUGE and one can do lots of things apart from borrowing books, such as watching borrowed movies, utilizing the free cyber cafe or even have a fake discussion at the discussion room. College opened my eyes.

Choices. It's a big step forward. Back in school, everything is decided. You don't question, you just execute. Everything from the exact minute you are supposed to be at school to the food you are going to eat. Now, instead of only having to choose my scope of study, I have to decide my subjects, my schedule, my attendance in class, my lecturer, my food, my clothes, my seat in class, my peers and many other mys. Selecting friends no longer meant getting along with classmates. It meant possibly becoming best friends with people from totally different faiths, races or ethnic backgrounds. Nobody ain't going to tell you what to do anymore or judge you, kiddo, it's a big world out there. I learnt that the little decisions I make today will influence who I become tomorrow and the scary thing is, I have to take full responsibility for the consequences flowing from these decisions.

1 year of decisions is significant. The things you see or miss out on, the experiences gained or not gained, the skills learnt or not, the people you meet or never encountered and the environment you grow up with. It's stupid to say pre-u is just one year. That's just being ignorant.

Despite harsh realities, with that little ounce of positivity left in me, I would absolutely love to achieve my idea of the 'ideal college experience'. As of right now, it's still a blurry vision but in time to come, I will discover what my ideal is. For the time being, I shall enjoy the moment.